Wednesday, February 1, 2012

Another year older!

I am now another year older. I'm not sure I am wiser for it, but I do know that I spend more time feeling tired than I did the year before. This obviously is mainly from having a child who refuses to sleep during the day. His refusal to sleep wears me down. I start to feel crazy and impatient. I am constantly praying for patience and love, but it is difficult.

I was told a lot before having children that it would be hard work, and naively I thought I would be fine. "I understood what hard work was," I would say to myself. "I've had numerous jobs throughout the past years that have been extremely physically demanding. I can do this!"

During uni break one year I worked at a single person's quarters in Kambalda, Western Australia (where I grew up), in the middle of summer. We started early to beat the heat, but even at 6 a.m. you could feel the heat, and it only increased throughout the day. This was hard work. It was physically demanding - scrubbing floors, showers, toilets, changing beds, carrying linen - and all in the heat. Afterwards I would head home for a shower and spend the rest of the afternoon under the air conditioner.

After I finished uni, I worked various jobs which demanded me to be on my feet for hours. I would work at Coles in the morning from 5 a.m. - 2 p.m., then drive across town and work in the pool as a swimming instructor for the next three-four hours. Usually by the end of the day, and certainly by the end of the week, I was exhausted. Daniel would drive home in the evening, and I could barely hold a conversation. I would lean my head on the door, and feel the exhaustion wash over my body. I felt weak. However long and tiring these days were, I could cope, because I knew that at the end of it I would get a break and a chance to relax. Alone. Without anyone demanding anything from me. I also knew that the next day I would feel refreshed because I would be able to have a full nights sleep without any interruptions.

Before I became a parent I thought I knew what hard work was. I was wrong! Nothing could have prepared me for the daily exhaustion I feel as a parent. For the loneliness of motherhood I often feel while Daniel is at work. For the never ending list of chores that need to be done, and the never ending demands of a child. I thought I would be fine, but in all honesty I am constantly struggling. Sometimes it is even too difficult to even think about leaving the house. I know I am not alone in these feelings, but sometimes it feels that way.

This is why I am so blessed to have such a wonderful support system around me who I am so thankful for, because without them I just wouldn't survive. I have my Mum and Anne (mother-in-law) who are constantly there if I need them. Plus, I have awesome friends who are only a phone call away, and less than a five minute drive commute. And they are all extremely good at making me feel very special on my birthday.

I spent the morning and afternoon with these friends as we shared cups of tea, pizza, cake and chips. It was relaxing and just what I needed after a few difficult days. Shelley even baked me the best birthday cake.

Isn't it just wonderful!

As a child my mum used to bake cakes like these for our birthdays. However, I never asked for this cake in particular. It was just a bit 'girly'. I do remember my sister's having this cake though.

Nicholas and I before blowing out the candle!
In the afternoon Shelley and I went for a walk. It was super cold so we rugged the babies up and headed out.

 The walk didn't last long before it started raining, but thankfully, we came prepared!
In the evening my parents, Daniel's parents and my sister came over for dinner and dessert. Nicholas even joined in the fun, refusing to go to sleep while everyone was here.

It was a great day and very relaxing. Thanks everyone for being there for me and helping me through the difficult times of parenthood.

And a song about babies that don't sleep... just for fun.

1 comment:

  1. I felt exhausted just reading about your working days! Thanks for letting us share your day with you, and distract you from those never-ending jobs that can always wait until 'tomorrow'!