In the last few weeks my life has been taken over with uni work. The house is a mess! The dishes aren't done, the floor isn't vacuumed, the washing isn't put away, or even in the machine for that matter. I certainty don't want visitors at the moment, and sadly, I can't go visit anyone because I have too many assignments to finish.
When Nicholas was about 8 weeks old, not going to bed until midnight some nights and still waking up twice during the night for feeds I decided that I wanted to go back to uni. In retrospect I am not sure why I decided this was a good idea and why I thought I was going to be able to cope with studying and being a mum. The first few weeks were OK, but then assignments needed to be done and I found I was running out of time. The last week has been really intense. I have spent the entire week at home trying to finish two assignments which were due on the same day. I feel like I have no life. Every moment Nicholas is asleep during the day, I am doing uni work. Even sometimes when he is awake, and this makes me feel really guilty, I have been doing uni work. And this is why I haven't been blogging much either.
I honestly didn't think having a child and doing uni was going to be as difficult as it has been. Unlike last year when I worked two jobs and studied three subjects and survived, this semester has been a real challenge. Not only is most of my spare time taken up with readings, and listening to lectures but I have this feeling that my studying is affecting the limited time I have to spend with Nicholas when he is not sleeping. I have this real desire just to spend time with Nicholas without the burden of uni work bearing down on me, and as mentioned above, I have this real sense of guilt when I can't do this. Thankfully, there are only 3 weeks, one assignment and one exam left till it's finished for the year. And I am hoping that maybe next year (I only have two units and a prac left) my Mum can look after him while I spend a day studying.
This is also one reason why I haven't been blogging much either. Just not enough time!