Can you believe it? I have now been writing this blog for a year. I realised this the other day as I was thinking about what I was going to get Daniel for his birthday. Here is one of the very first posts I wrote.
It is amazing how much things can change in a year! Last year I had no children. Now I have a little boy who I dearly love. Last year I was studying full-time, as well as working two jobs. This year I have one full-time job - being a parent. By the light of my computer screen I can see my little bundle of joy is smiling at me now... even though he should be feeding. Last year I slept a lot more. Now I sleep in 3-5 hour blocks. I also went out a lot more, especially in the evening. I went to the movies, I went to friends houses, I went to parties and to music gigs. Now I try to go to bed as soon as baby is fast asleep. I feel like an old lady!
The biggest change though has been my attitude towards having children. When Daniel and I married in 2006 he was ready and keen to have children. I, on the other hand, was not. The prospect of having children terrified me, especially the thought of having to give everything up to look after another person. I'm not saying I didn't want children; I did. I just didn't want babies. I am totally not a babies person. They don't make my clucky, they are 100 percent dependent on you, and they poo and spew a lot (never thought I would write those two words on a blog). I certainly didn't want one of these, but to get to the point of having older children you have to go through the baby stage. And because I was never clucky it was super easy to put off having children. And it wasn't as if I was missing out on interacting or spending time with kids, they were part of nearly every aspect of my life - school, swimming teaching, church, home- so why would I want to have my own?
Eventually, Daniel persuaded me and now how different things are.... Since having Nicholas, I have noticed that my thinking has changed considerably, and I'm saying things I never ever thought I would. For instance, the other day I realised (even with the memory of labour still so fresh) that I was excited about the idea of having more children and meeting these new little people who we will love and know. Now even just thinking this freaked me out at the time, because a year ago this would never have been the case. I also like babies now as well. And not just my own. I suddenly think that all babies are cute, and one might even say that I am a little bit clucky. This is very weird for me.
Here is a picture of Daniel and Nicholas at my parents' place after singing happy birthday to him and my sister (only 2 days difference). Soooo cute :)
It is amazing how much can change in a year!